The Gold Medal You Don’t Want to Win.Why Community is Key to Coming Last In The Boring Olympics.
A million years ago I was told to always “follow the energy.” It’s good advice, and it has only got me into trouble occasionally!
I thought of that shortly after I met Marion “Maz” Farrelly. I remember it clearly. We were in an office at UNSW - she was making a documentary about students- and a mutual colleague introduced us.
I was immediately struck by her brilliantly dazzling outfit – an embroidered red bomber jacket, matching bright lipstick and spiky blonde hair – not the typical look in The Chancellery Building at UNSW!
She said, “so fabulous to meet you darling” and planted a big kiss on my cheek. And I was charmed.
The energy needed to be followed.
Maz is one of the world’s top reality showrunners. In the UK, Australia and the USA she’s had number one ratings busting shows and about a billion hits on her content on YouTube. But what I find especially fascinating about her is the way she builds (and disrupts) communities every time she takes on a new series.
How she does that is fascinating (yes, you’ll need to listen to the podcast for full details) but what I can tell you is that there are five “C”’s in her life;
Conflict, comedy, character, consequence and of course COMMUNITY.
And as with all my podcast guests, their lived experience is often backed up by serious science - please do have a listen: Apple Podcasts , Spotify
For example, Maz talks about how reinforcing a common goal speeds up the process of building a community. She gave me an example. At meeting one on day one of a new project, Maz explains to her team that their common goal is to “be the number one show”. She repeats this regularly, to remind team members of the purpose of their work and unite them in their common goal. As it turns out, mottos are key to embodying the spirit of a shared vision. Leadership strategist Adrian Dearnell tells us that the key to successful goal communications is to “refine and repeat”. So, by repeating the shared goal, Maz not only gets her show to number one, but builds a first class community.
I think that’s a pretty straightforward bit of takeaway information – it’s simple, it’s clear and it’s what we should all be doing with our teams (if we’re lucky enough to have them!). If you’re a solo operator I recommend writing your goal in 48pt bold letters and sticking it on the wall behind your computer. What are you waiting for?
Now, storytelling for leadership and business is the subject of many books and papers. There’s not enough space to cite them all. But, in a nutshell, telling stories through books, spoken word, or paintings on a cave wall is a fundamental part of being a human. For Maz too, storytelling is fundamental. Viewers need to connect with the stories she is telling – they don’t really want to watch a reality show, they have lots of other things they could be doing. But a compelling storyteller like Maz can grab their interest and ensure they stay tuned to find out what happens next. She’s creating an emotional connection. Her storytelling is what makes us care about what is going to happen next- so that we can’t look away.
Storytelling in business, in education and in life, has NEVER been more important. We have hundreds of distractions a day – it’s very noisy out there- so if we want to get our message across we need to have a good story to tell. And that means one that triggers an emotional connection.
So, as Maz tells us, don’t go for gold in the Boring Olympics – a description of many a meeting I have attended - there’s a lot of competition for the title, but it’s one you definitely don’t want!
Maz’s experience working on Big Brother is a real eye opener. When you put the needs of a group first- through collaborative tasks like Big Brother housemates keeping a fire alight - you build community. But when a member of the community puts their individual needs first, you see community start to break down. Listen for Maz’s literal party trick for community breaking. Cross cultural psychologist Harry Triandis suggests that the more we identify with the collective the more our individual aims align with the aims of the community.
That may seem counter-intuitive at first, but Triandis observed that in some highly collectivist cultures the difference between individual and collective aims could disappear entirely. Hence, when Maz gets reality tv constestants to make selfish decisions, we get all that juicy, community-crumbling drama.
I was fascinated about what Maz had to say about building ‘safe spaces’ for her teams, so they felt they could contribute to the creative and logistical process freely.
Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School Amy Edmundson explains that when we feel confident we will not be rejected or punished or embarrassed for speaking up, we speak up more freely. Which then leads to better input and (usually) a better outcome. Plus a happier team.
But let’s give credit where it’s due. This is not a completely new idea.
Aristotle, born in 384 BC told us “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” So, even two and a half MILLENIA ago we knew that we are better off working together.
One final thought- do intense and difficult experiences lead to a stronger community and stronger friendships? Maz told me that hardship brings people together and I think many of us can relate to this. Our best friends are often those who we’ve been through challenging stages of our lives with.
Australian researchers even described pain as a “social glue” when they found that intense and painful experiences bring people closer together.
But the ultimate example of this may be the incredible bonds formed between people who go to war together. McQuinn and Whitehouse’s study of civilian fighters during the 2011 Libyan revolution revealed that the social bonds formed between fighters in times of adversity are just as strong as bonds between family members. An extraordinary thought to leave you with.
So, from our extraordinarily interesting conversation, here are my three community-building takeaways from Maz.
1. Create your own number one show – unite your community with a key message or a common goal , a bit of intensity, like a strict deadline, won’t hurt
2. Don’t go for gold at the boring Olympics – share your story and make it interesting to engage your community
3. Build a safe space by showing empathy, - provide the right environment to allow your community to admit mistakes, engage in difficult conversations and share their honest opinions
This is all information I’m using on a daily basis to help build the communities within UNSW, because #belonging is better.
Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts , Spotify
